Day three: Monterey - Santa Maria

Our next destination was Santa Maria, home of the Jackson trial, no really. That’s all we know about the city. Cultural barbarics. We drove along the Pacific Coast Highway 1, where there were lots of ‘Vista Points’ where you could park the car, get out and enjoy the scenery. Now, being from Holland I get excited about speedbumps because WOO, HILLS! Imagine my reaction to all the hills and mountains and high cliffs and stuff. I wanted to get out at every Vista Point. I mean, what if the landscape would suddenly turn flat? Like in Cinderella. Not that she turns flat at 12 o’clock, but what if from one point to the other, the magic would be over and it would be back to being dull again? Just like that. Wasn’t going to happen though.



Most of the times the road would look deserted, the only traffic were the odd tourist and RV. I’m not calling tourists and RV odd, but you know what I mean. Although sometimes they could be odd. Look at me. Anyway, around 10am we drove to Big Sur Park, bought a ticket and a map at ranger Bob’s. We called everyone wearing a ranger hat Ranger Bob during our vacation. It sounds funny. To us, at least. Looking at the map, we saw there was a little trail leading to the Pfeiffer Waterfall so we thought we’d go and check it out. As short as the trail may have seemed, it was one long, torturous sandy road going uphill except for the few parts where it was flat for a few inches, and there were stones and little rocks that were loose and the path was narrow and did I already mention I was wearing a skirt, flip flops, we had no water with us and it was a thousand degrees? No fun. We finally arrived at the falls, sweating like a pig, foaming at the mouth and it appeared that the waterfall was nothing more than a tiny dripping stream of water. That’s what it looked like to us at least after going through hell. Maybe it would’ve looked nicer if we could’ve parked the car, walked 5 steps and gone ‘oh look, a waterfall, isn’t it pretty?’

It looked like someone was peeing over a rock. We dubbed it 'Pee Falls'. Also, we're 12.



Once we were back in the car we drove on southwards. We stopped and got out near a beach where we saw lots of sea elephants, lying around, doing nothing. Once in a while one would flip its huge flipper and throw some of the sand over it to stay warm. And then one would sit up straight and make the weirdest sound! If empty trashcans could grunt and holler, it would sound like that.

Big, ugly, noisy and smelly, but still cute. Nature's answer to Shrek.



Around 2 o’clock we arrived at San Simeon, where we went to Hearst Castle. I could tell you the story about William Randolph Hearst, but really, just Google him or watch Citizen Kane, I’m lazy! Ofcourse the movie wasn’t mentioned anywhere in the visitor’s center or during the tour, because it’s evil and tells nothing but bad and sad things about Hearst. I’d thought I’d see a whole section dedicated to the film, with props and stuff but I should’ve known better. It’s like worshipping at the altar of Kevin Spacey and expecting a movie still of Pay it Forward on it. You’d rather pretend it didn’t happen, so don’t mention it. Gives the man a bad name. Anyway, the castle, very pretty, want all of it, so I can throw parties and swim and sit in 14th century church benches. Ofcourse, I can sit in old church benches at home if I go to church, but you know what I mean. I can invite all the cool people and let all the drool people stand at the gates while they wait for me to let them in. Which I don’t, because I’d be rich and mean and very powerful. I would then consider running for president, something Hearst did as well. Ofcourse, in my case, I would win the election. There were lots of antiques and gold and nice flowers and orange trees, very pretty. And a little movie theater that I was in love with.

This is Hearst Castle's pool. Get me a room there.



The dining room. People like Chaplin, Gable, Churchill sat here. The seats looked very uncomfortable and the table was really small. Glad to see the rich & wealthy had to suffer too back in the day.



At the end of the afternoon we drove on to Santa Maria, where we stayed at a very pretty hotel. We didn’t do much that night. Just lazed around, watched tv, and we got food at Jack in the Box, a toothless lady worked there and there were lots of weird people hanging around and if you combine that with the stupid commercial of JitB with the guy with the ball as a head, I don’t think I’ll ever eat at Jack in the Box again.